The American Heritage Dictionary, Second College Edition defines a slave as: "One bound in servitude to a person or household as an instrument of labor." It lists both Texas and Alabama as slave states, and that's appropriate. One hundred and ten years after the end of the Civil War, slavery has not ended there or anywhere else in the U.S. It has transformed. The new slave class, the Slaves for the New Millenium, are divorced, noncustodial male parents.
Slavery is defined as "A mode of production in which slaves constitute the principal work force" and as "The condition of being subject or addicted to a specified influence."
That fits what's happening in this country pretty well.
To validate that, let's compare slave trade conditions as they existed during the period of the Civil War with the conditions for non-custodial fathers today:
Civil War Slave Premises:
If men were truly in control in this world, do you think we would have put up with this for one second? It is because were not that this matter is where it is. Everyone's still hiding behind their denial. The politicians as well as any merchant you might speak to understand that women really are in control while we are made to believe they are recovering from oppression, i.e., they are the victims.
I'm posting a story sent into me by Debra, the current wife of David. This is David's story. Unfortunately, it is not the uncommon event. (NOTE: I have not validated the facts here but believe them to be true based on my own experiences. I have done some slight editing for legal and editorial reasons, and the story is published with permission.)
"I am the 2nd wife of a so called "deadbeat dad". We married 5 yrs. Ago on Oct. 16 - my birthday. Every year since, around this date, my husband, David, has been threatened with being incarcerated. I think the ex must choose this date on purpose to sic the authorities on him. Maybe I am just paranoid after all we have been through. It has also happened on other nice dates like Thanksgiving and Xmas too, "coincidentally". This year the "hearing" (which is always one-sided) is on Oct. 15. The worst of it started in 1992 when David was thrown in jail and lost a 40k contract. He thought nothing of going to this "hearing" thinking he would simply show the Judge that he had this upcoming job secured and could catch up on payments, etc. Well, the Judge would not even allow David to speak let alone submit papers saying if he said one more word he would be held in contempt. He asked David if he was "able and willing to pay $2,000 right then and there. David said he was willing but did not currently have the $2,000. He said he had $20.00 in his pocket and told the Judge he could have that. The Judge ordered his legs shackled, his hands cuffed and sent him off to jail until he could pay the full amount due. I remember the hopeless feeling when David's business phone rang. On the other end were people whom David was trying to get work with. He does Management Consulting and has developed programs for Organizational Change/Business Process Reengineering/ and Organizational Transformation (he says it is really transforming from fear and self-service to love and self-less service - very much needed in today's society). Anyway, he was just making a new start. He had lost his "middle management" position. It turns out he lost his last real "job" and he was turning 51.
David spent two weeks in jail that February of 1992. I tried desperately to raise bail while he lost the 40k contract and other relationships dwindled. A friend finally got a lawyer friend of hers to help reduce the bail to $500. He urged us not to pay saying that once you pay, they think "oh, we just have to throw this guy in the slammer to get the money out of him". It made sense but I was really freaking out at the time and just wanted him out of there. Dave lost 10 pounds in those 2 weeks.
Child support arrears have grown since then to over $38,000 (Dave signed up for $1,000+ per month and the courts would not lower it despite his changed circumstances). We have been able to barely keep our house (as of this writing we are two months behind in mortgage payment), my credit cards have reached their limit, and my parents are once again buying us food and heating oil. If I could actually look at this situation as funny, I could get hysterical just looking at the file cabinet that is actually bulging over with court papers. Friends say, "why don't you just pay?" I say, "how, and with what - are you kidding"? Others say, "why don't you just give up and work at McDonalds?" or "why do you keep appealing? you must like playing this game". They simply do not understand that working at McDonalds would not leave us enough to survive because the court would garnish most of Dave's wages. We would loose the house for sure and if we did not appeal the court's decisions, Dave would have spent many more weeks in jail over the years.
Of course, we do not have a lawyer. Even if we could afford one, none want to even touch this case. We have not even been able to find a lawyer to help us with another most upsetting aspect of this case: The ex stole the children's trust fund that Dave had set up years ago from his inheritance from his parent's. The trust consisted of some $20,000 cash and $30,000 stock when it was set up. The ex has never had to account for any of it even though it is written in the divorce agreement that she do so. She invested it with -get this- Dave's brother in an apartment building to be built by her then lover. The deal fell through and from what I understand she and the brother are finally getting some money back on their investment. BUT, Dave's youngest son, Peter, is 18 and trying to get into college. He has lived with us since last year.
His mother abused him physically, mentally and emotionally. Even spiritually, if you will, with her denigration of him since his decision to live with his father. Oh ya, the courts refuse to look at the abuse issue. The State X court, where we live, said it was State Y's problem. State Y court, where the ex lives, said it was State X's problem. So, the ex is all right, we are all wrong and I don't know what Peter is. In another recent court appearance, Peter was told not to speak (even though he is 18 now). When he protested, the County Judge had the sheriffs bailiff remove him threatening HIM with contempt of court. He and Dave were trying to get the court to make the ex account for the stolen funds. By the way, the older son sides with his mother because in doing so, he gets money from her. Peter has integrity and refuses to be a "prostitute".
So, this is our story. It is hard to tell what will happen come Oct. 15. I just hope and pray my husband will be home with me on our wedding anniversary.
Those out there that think LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS are still secure as our constitutional rights - re-read this and think again.
Debra. Second wife and US citizen trying to survive in Warren County New
I couldn't have said this any better. Remember Debra's last words. If you're male and a non custodial parent or thinking about getting married, don't forget them:
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